~`_ The Spirit of the Eagle speaks into the soul _'~

and I gotta sleep. It is about to be 4 in the morning and I have yet to bat an eye, really. I hate lackofhusbandsomnia. That is what I have decided to call it when I have insomnia due to the absence of my husband in the home.

I was looking in the mirror, which is something I actually rarely do and not for very long when I actually DO look...and I saw

I am consistently inconsistent...does that make me consistent? I don't know. What I do know is that I am itching to get back to Texas to visit with my Mindsay *and Vox* friends again. It was so awesome. By the time I get there, Myclette will have another baby for me to squish  

but the loss still weighs heavy on my heart. I lost my grandmother on November 4th of 2005. I had to sing at her funeral on the 11th. I miss her like crazy most of the time. I loved her so much. She is missing all her great grandchildren! How she would have been shocked at how many she got in such a short time. I love you gma!!!

I started on Mindsay in June of 2005 but started blogging on July 2nd of the same year, and I cannot believe I have stayed this long. The first person to welcome me was ashenrose. I have some wonderful friends here, some of whom I have met in real life. (shout outs to callmeroger , environgirl , myclette , and torridgirl  There are others who I keep track of on here and on other social networks ( shout out to sandyquill . There are plenty of others I was glad to forget when they left out of here. *no shout outs there, but I am sure some of you can relate*. I have seen my share of heated battles here over religion, politics, racism, and inane remarks. I made friends with one of the wonderful creators of Mindsay ( shout out to aostrow  and made plenty of comments/suggestions...one of which is still a good idea yet they have not jumped on it. I cannot blame them, though, as it would be too easy for people to run to other blogging sites and leave this one alone! Mindsay has grown and shrunk and grown again. I still love my friends here, even if I don't blog here as often as I used to... Three cheers for Mindsay.

It is funny to me how many small claims court shows there are on television. I can't believe how many judges have been given shows! You have someone for just about every kind of people. There is even one who calls himself the "queen" of his court room. How times have changed! Now you have to watch the real trials on Court TV where they get their big fancy schmancy Oklahoma City attorney to represent them on a murder trial or something like that. Once in a while, you even see the law firms of now deceased famous lawyers who are put into the spotlight again for a time with another semi high profile case. I don't know when people got so obsessed with the way the judiciary system works, especially if it is humorous. I must admit, I get sucked in by a few of the shows myself. They are just HILARIOUS. I have been so small claims court to watch and observe on a number of occasions and it is NEVER that animated.

No particular reason why, but I am extremely aggravated today. I feel like I am about to lose my total mind. Maybe it's because I was all geared up to go to New Jersey and get my peacefulness back and at the last minute we decided not to go. I don't know when we are going to get to to go to NJ now. I am waiting for a phone call from someone so that we can reschedule our son's eye appointment. I am also waiting for a phone call from my hubby's friend so we can coordinate that same day. Family is usually available at some point so that is not really a problem, thankfully. I just really was looking forward to spending some sweet quality time in South Jersey's fall nature... *sigh*... oh well.

Once upon a time I was a cutter...

Even though I still wish to have a small dog, I am kind of glad that I don't have any pets right now. Not having to deal with where the dog is staying, what pet supplements I need to keep in stock, when to take the dog to the vet, and all that stuff is nice for now.  I would love to have a chihuahua or a corgi in our home when we do move again. I don't know how practical that is, since we will be gone a large amount of time from the house once our ministries get back into full swing. I have to think of the animal's well being ahead of all that...so I don't think I will be able to get another dog until I am old and decrepit. Sad, no? Ah, well. I have my son and that's enough child for me right now anyway.

Since being in NY I have been missing my family more than ever in my life. I get to talk to them on the phone from time to time and see them on networking sites, but it's not the same as being in the presence of another human being with whom you really relate. I had a dream I was talking on the phone to my mother and the wife of my husband's godfather somehow broke in on the conversation at the point when I was saying something about going back to NJ to live and she said really loudly " oh NO you are NOT!!! ". I was like, HOW did you get it on my CELL PHONE conversation? Weird dream, right?