I am not talking box cutter, I am talking actual cutter.

I am saying that I have scars on my arms that look like a cat scratched me up. 

Why? I cannot say why all of a sudden after being able to stifle the feeling and visions to harm myself that I snapped and became an actual doer of those things. 

Thankfully, I have not cut in about a year. I no longer feel the need nor sensation to self harm. I have conquered the demon. I have to be honest, though. I could not have conquered it without Jesus.