My father *born early 30's* swears that I am doing it all wrong with my kid. He also swears that if he had my kid as his own, he probably would have ceased to exist by now. He doesn't get the concept of spirited, he only thinks my son is spoiled and manipulative. I am too lenient and allow him to get away with things he would have gotten his block knocked off for doing or saying. He doesn't understand the fact that my son and I have worked diligently day by day to get him to the point where he can behave in mixed company *which means with anyone other than just me in the room*. We still struggle. I still get to the point where I want to pull out my hair. My father swears that I let him do way too much for his age like try to help me cook and clean, learning how to swim, getting him workbooks and things that are school-like in nature. At least we both agree on one thing: my kid CANNOT go to school...but for different reasons! He thinks the kid wont be able to survive in school because no one can control his temperament. DUH. I know that my son can't for other reasons. My father thinks that I am fighting a losing battle with my son.

 

This is the same child who used to hit others, but now uses his words or signs to express himself. This is the same kid who used to scream demands, but now he uses his manners more often than not and only needs a gentle reminder to use them. This is the same child who would get frustrated and begin to flip off the couches and walls, but now finds other ways to get his frustrations out, like building and knocking down blocks. This is the same child who once banged his head on the floor in the midst of tantrums, but now jumps up and down and whines to show his discontent and thereby hurts no one including himself.

 

I am doing what my son WANTS to do, not what I am forcing him to do. He loves to get involved and I let him. He is a high energy spirited person. He is an extroverted introvert, like me. We both need quiet time to refuel and recharge. We are both deeply feeling creatures who experience life much more intensely than most people. Reading this book "Raisng the Spirited Child" by Kurchinka has reinforced the things that I was already doing with my son and also given me a few more strategies to employ. I didn't realize how spirited I myself am until I read through the situations that occur with spirited adults with spirited children.

 

All I know is that God and I have a deal. I have been fighting my way through adversity to get this kid raised right. I knew he was going to be spirited before he was born. God told me. I just wish that other people could see that I am doing the best I can and just shut themselves up.